What Would You Do?

I was bored in the studio when Shaz was recording.
"You looked awesome with longer hair!"

The me I always dared myself to be.
"There's a distinctive lack of gayness." -Ken Sebastian.

Rockin' the Mohawk with Jasmine.
"Holy Schmoly, Kevin! It's SO short!"

I look weird smiling like this.
But it's better than the alternatives. No?

"Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve."

-W. Clement Stone

I'm not a master at anything. If the truth is out there, I have yet to discover much of it. I know so little, but I know so much already. It awes me, the capacity of the human brain. You create your own universe as you move along, experiencing the high and low notes of life.

I wonder if life would be easier without love?

This post is not here because of me and my personal problems. The reason I'm blogging is just to calm myself from the velocity of things around me lately. The changes I'm going through as well as the changes happening to the people I care about.

So this is for you. The ones going through changes, the one watching us change. There are changes where you can so clearly see and then there are the ones you don't. But I believe all of us are changing at this point being. And I hope we change for the better.


(Taken from my other blog. A post from two years ago.)

Life is a journey.
One that is much better traveled with a companion by our side.
Still, despite our best intentions, some of us will lose our companions along the way. And then the journey becomes unbearable.
You see, human beings are designed for many things.
But loneliness isn't one of them.

Nothing is forever and the time comes when we all must say goodbye to the world we knew.
Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted.
Goodbye to those we thought would never abandon us.

And when these changes finally do occur,
When the familiar has departed
And the unfamiliar has taken its place
All any of us can really do is to say 'hello, and welcome'.

And here's my usual load of crap.

I’ve always known Alvin as an enthusiastic person. Energetic and charming at the same time, confidence and adrenaline oozes from the way he speaks and moves. He would have been the oldest man I had wanted to be too close with, being a 35 year old, if my memory serves. He has a weird habit of smelling my hair, too bad now that it’s gone.

The tall gym trainer was anything but welcomed tonight as he rubbed his sweaty palms on my shoulder, half-heartedly complimenting my new hairstyle. I told him it was done out of pure boredom plus a little bit of split ends. He chuckled, most likely knowing that I was not even remotely interested in being social. I walked out of the gym without saying goodbye, after reluctantly fishing out RM135 for yet another month of membership that I could potentially be wasting.

The few days went by at a pace faster than I could follow. Assignments were rushed and deadlines have been met one by one, forcing each of us to be more committed to our work every time we complete a task. I finally finished typing out my resume and sent it to a person at 8TV. Even though I still have a certain degree of hope that I would end up in Shanghai with Kah Meng.

“Of course we’d let you work in Shanghai, you should leave the country too! Look for new things! Just tell us how much we need to give you for your accommodation,” said my father, before finding out the shocking amount of money it would require for me to get a place there myself, even if it’s shared with KM.

I’ve finally moved out of the craphole I’ve stuffed my life in for the past two years and resorted to staying in a slightly bigger but hotter room with Andre. Speaking of Andre, I went to watch a movie with her yesterday. Dan In Real Life was a gem in the sack. As commercialized as it is, the film is full of real emotions along the above average acting of Steve Corell. The movie was heartfelt and heartwarming. It was a tearjerker to me, for reasons not to be spoken of. I would pay another RM8 to watch the movie again, it was that good for a low budget comedy.

Sincere gratitude goes to Moon and Kurt, who came all the way from Subang last night after I decided not to call CJ to come help me move some drawers and the table. The things would not have fit in his car. He would not have been free to come. I didn’t dwell too much thinking of the possibly of seeing him, calling each and everyone I knew who had a car that I’d be able to throw ALL my stuff in.

It took us more than two hours to completely move the things. Clothes were the easy part. Miscellaneous things were slightly more complicated as a person like me is full of them. Tables and drawers were disastrous during the carriage. But after the involvement of a lot of dust, cleaning, twisted wrists and ankles, we managed to finish everything by midnight.

I have yet to unpack. Still trying to finish off the last two chapter of Foreign Babes while paying as little attention as possible to the songs played repeatedly in my phone. The book fair in Atria is amazing, I feel like spending all my money there. There are more than 10 books I wanted to buy but I ended up getting only one, RM20 cheaper than the original price.

Maybe it was, after all, nothing,
Kevin C.